The 25th was two months since she died, it was also my birthday. My first one without her in 29 years.
There are no easy days, only some that are slightly less hard.
We have moved back to Minnesota, we spent more time here than anywhere else. The memories here are our happiest.
I haven't been able to go into the woods yet, though I have the time. She was always there to come home to, now I am terrified of the feeling I will have coming back. She was always eager to hear of my adventure, no matter how small.
Now there is silence.
I wish I could talk to her.
There are no easy days, only some that are slightly less hard.
We have moved back to Minnesota, we spent more time here than anywhere else. The memories here are our happiest.
I haven't been able to go into the woods yet, though I have the time. She was always there to come home to, now I am terrified of the feeling I will have coming back. She was always eager to hear of my adventure, no matter how small.
Now there is silence.
I wish I could talk to her.
When you are ready, you will go to the woods. You will probably find that the good memories will make life easier. Happy birthday. Take care and God bless.
ReplyDeleteYou can and always should talk to her. She will hear you. And when you listen, you will hear her as well. In the trees and the wind. She will always be there.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteThoughts and prayers my friend
ReplyDeleteNew to your blog, and I've enjoyed just about everything I've read, and your advice has made my life better, as a young man I look up to experienced fellows who care enough to share their knowledge and lives, like yourself. I hope you can find a way to keep making people's lives better, whether it's through helping your family or friends, teaching people what you know or just letting people know they're not alone.
ReplyDeleteThere will be dark days ahead but if people gave up in times of tragedy, our lineages would have ceased to exist, our knowledge would never have been passed down, our heritage would have disappeared. Keep going, thoughts and prayers, and I look forwards to your next post.
Loosing a loved person is always painful, nothing can fill that gap; the only thing you can do is wait until time eases the pain and remind yourself that she lives on in your children. They are the only thing in which we live on. I can fully understand that you don't got out to the great outdoors at the moment; there were times in my life when I felt similar, but looking back I regret that I isolated myself and did nothing. It is okay for a while because the wounded soul needs a rest, but one soon day you´ll be back on your feet again. No loss will ever be forgotten, but we all have to carry on, because life has to move on and you are needed, especially your kids need you now more than ever.
ReplyDeleteI hope that helps you a little,....excuse my english, it's not the very best ;-)
Best Regards from rainy Germany
Stefan
I hear your pain, brother.
ReplyDeleteAnd there's nothing any of us can do to ease that.
But you will overcome it eventually, because that is what you do. That is what you are. That is what I have come to know you for, even if it only is digitally.
You will carry her with you, no matter where you are.
Wishing you all the strength you need.
They say time heals old wounds
ReplyDeleteBut this will never heal
The scar will stay forever
Wear it with sorrow and with pride
Pride that you love her
And she loves you
Though nothing will be the same
And everything has changed
Talk to her
Talk to Him
Let them guide you
Let your children know it's ok to do the same
And tell them to stay
And help ease your worries
Take her with you on your journey
Tucked away close to your heart
But just beneath the surface
And bring her out when she calls to you
She waits for you to be again
And to see her smile shining back at yours
I know not what you are going through
Just thinking outloud
I am sorry for your loss
If you ever need to, give me a shout
Happy birthday Jim. Give me a call sometime so we can get together. I would love to just hang out with you again.
ReplyDeleteI am deeply sorry to read this. I had followed you a few years ago, and my wife and I (and two daughters) were in a battle with ovarian cancer. Sadly, we lost her. It will be two years ago next month.
ReplyDeleteYou summed it up perfectly.
I am sorry for your loss, and wish you strength to move forward.